"Baby Girl"

Do you know that feeling, when you look at someone you love that is in pain, and you just hurt for them? It sits all the way down in your gut. You can't help but stare at them. You just wish you could do something. ANYTHING. There is no greater pain in the world than to see your child hurt.

It started out as a simple ear infection. Ashley has only had one before in her life, and this could have actually been the same one lingering on, since it was just a month prior. I took her into the Dr. to get an antibiotic. They prescribed Penicillin, actually it was Augmentin which is penicillin with an additive. Things were going smoothly until day 7 when Ashley woke up with hives covering her body. I was sitting on the deck reading the paper when she walked out of her bedroom. When I saw her, I immediately knew what it was, because I had the same reaction when I was little (only I was school aged and old enough to remember every detail). I quickly put both Luke and Ashley in the car and rushed to the doctor's office. They said to immediately stop the penicillin and put her on benadryl. I did that, but she still wasn't clearing up. It's like the benadryl did nothing for her. That evening she seemed to be feeling worse, so the doctor called in a prescription for a steroid. I had a neighbor come over (Brent was out of town) to sit with Luke and Ashley so I could run to the pharmacy, I am so grateful for wonderful neighbors. I gave her the steroid and she seemed to clear up a little, but not much. Having a 4 year old on a steroid is interesting to say the least.... I watched her sleep the whole night. The next day was about the same. However, the rash was shifting, where her skin was covered with hives before was now clear, and where it was clear, was now covered. Strange, but I thought OK, the penicillin was still in her system. It hadn't even been 48 hours since her last dose. The next morning she woke up and this is when I got scared. REALLY SCARED. I don't even know if scared is the correct word to use here. I was fearful for my baby girl. What if her throat closes up?! The hives had shifted again, only this time to her face. She was completely swollen. She couldn't open her eyes. Her lips were enormous and her scalp was covered. You couldn't even recognize her. I immediately called our doctor and he met us at his office. It was closed since it was a Sunday, Super Bowl Sunday. (what an awesome doctor right?) He told me she could be allergic to something other than the penicillin like peanuts or berries. So he said to stop those as well. He increased both her benadryl and steroid. By the afternoon, Ashley was back. Not 100% but back. The hives went down significantly, and she was no longer moaning in pain. She started looking like herself again. By the next day, she was completely clear, only bruises were left behind. Bruising? Seriously? I'm not a hypochondriac, I swear, but I called the Dr. yet again. He was concerned about the bruising as well and asked that I bring her back in. They ran a series of tests and everything came back negative. Which was good, that meant the hives were just so bad that they bruised her poor little body. Within 2 days, Ashley had no bruising and her beautiful skin was back.

This has been a stressful journey, and I am so glad that it is over. Ashley has had peanut butter already and no reaction, which is great. We will try berries soon. I've gone back and forth about whether or not I want to post the pictures I took for the doctor. I decided I would, after all, the point of this blog is for Luke and Ashley to look back on their childhood. Also, what if Ashley has a child one day who goes through this? I kept asking my mom questions about my reaction to penicillin and it was hard for her to remember. She probably blocked it out because it's pretty traumatic to see. I will try my hardest to block this out too.

Later that afternoon. This is how her eyes are supposed to look!

How she is supposed to act!

Now you don't think I would end a post with pictures like that do you?! Check out this porcelain skinned baby girl!

Ashley's taking tap and ballet!!!



She is so proud when she puts on her leotard. She struts around the house showing off. She says she likes ballet better right now, but tap is just so funny!

I am thankful to have the pediatrician we do. He worked really hard and close with me throughout this whole ordeal, answering all my questions and never once making me feel stupid. I tried really hard to stay calm, not only for Ashley, but for Luke. I didn't break down until last night and it was over a stupid commercial! Guess, I just kept it all in. I am thankful that Luke and Ashley didn't pick up on my fear. At one point, Luke said, "why is she making that face?" and that made me laugh. I love my children more than anything in the world, and I hate to see them in pain. I know this is just the beginning, and they will get sick again, I just wish I could put it on me.